A Cold Night (Pt. 3)

Well, there goes any chance of him being interested in me. Look at the crazy Asian snooping through the photos under the mirror while he hooks up the car, desperate to see if he's a keeper because that's a valid concern before I ask him to fuck me in the backseat. Okay, maybe he doesn’t know all that. Stop it, Rachel.

“Sorry, they all kind of fell out and I was trying to put them all back but they . . .”

Goddamn it, now I just sound more crazy.

“Um . . . Ok. Here, I'll just throw them in the glove box.”

Of course when he takes the pictures from me, while I sit there hoping he doesn't notice how red my face is, I mean really, it's just the cold, I notice he's got big hands. You know what they say about that. Gotta keep it together. Must be the cold getting to me. That and the full moon. It's a full moon right?

“I got the car all hooked up. Dispatch said your address was over in Marietta? 2150 Indiana Ave, right?”

“Yes. I mean, yeah that's it. I can give you directions.”

“Thanks, but I know that side of town pretty well. I had an ex-girlfriend that lived over there. I mean, a long time ago. It might've changed. Yeah, you should give me directions. Yeah.”

Is he stammering? He is. Maybe he thinks I'm cute. I mean, I am pretty cute. And he's a tow truck driver so his standards are probably pretty low.

“So what's the thing with pineapples?”

* * *

“Maam? Can I help you?”

The hell? She may be cute but maybe this girl is a nut job. What the hell is she doing looking through my photos. I mean, they may just be random crap but really. . . Maybe she's a psycho who pretends to break down and then fucks with the tow guy. But I did see that busted radiator house when I popped the hood and damn if there wasn't antifreeze all over the place.

“Sorry, they all kind of fell out and I was trying to put them all back but they . . .”

Oh. Why am I over thinking all this so much? Just a simple mistake. She was probably just curious anyway and that means that she's curious about me. Good sign. Means maybe she's interested after all. And a possible nut job. Oh well, they're usually better in the sack anyway. Not that that's all I'm thinking about. And now I've just been staring at her for like a whole minute.

“Um . . . Ok. Here, I'll just throw them in the glove box.”

But her knees are in the way of the glove box and when she pulls them away I see that she's blushing like crazy. It's really cute on her though and I have to admit I get a little tingle when I reach past her knees in those skinny leg pants and see that underneath all those layers she's actually pretty petite. Man, I hope she's not a nut job. Let's see what she says on the ride.

“I got the car all hooked up. Dispatch said your address was over in Marietta? 2150 Indiana Ave, right?”

“Yes. I mean, yeah that's it. I can give you directions.”

“Thanks, but I know that side of town pretty well. I had an ex-girlfriend that lived over there.” Goddamn it, Ian! Never bring up an ex girlfriend when you're talking to a new girl! I mean, she's just a AAA pick up but fuck now I sound like I'm not interested and fucking A. Fix it. “I mean, a long time ago. It might've changed. Yeah, you should give me directions. Yeah.”

Bad save but at least we both sound like nut jobs now. She's still blushing over there at any rate, and now we're driving off with that yellow Mercedes bouncing around on the flatbed out back. Still curious about that.

“So what's the thing with pineapples?”

“Um, what?”

* * *

“I mean, when all the pictures fell out and I picked them up and I saw a picture of this couple and at the bottom it said, 'Pineapples, am I right?' and I just wondered what that meant. I mean, I was curious.”

Like I don't sound like a retard now with all that pouring out of me. Good going. Guess I won't get to squeeze that cute butt after all.

“Oh,” He's laughing though. It sounds nice, like it comes from deep in his chest and somehow it accents his manliness when it does. Or maybe it's just the mountain man beard. “It's just this thing we had back in college, me and Eric. My friend in the picture I mean.”

He's looking at me and he's smiling and maybe he doesn't think I'm weird after all. “It's kind of juvenile I guess, but we used to joke about calling tits, err breasts, pineapples, and when he met Carol we were at a bar and when she walked by he said 'Nice pineapples on that one, eh?' So when they got married it was just kind of silly, you know? Just college stuff.”

“No, it's cute. She did have nice pineapples, anyway. I'll start calling them that too.”

Of course mine are more the size of tangerines but hey, girls from China can only ask for so much. Maybe he'll like 'em anyway. Brian never did so it'd be nice if someone appreciated them. He always wanted me to buy a bigger pair of pineapples but this guy, I don't think he'd be that way. Especially since I keep catching him checking me out and trying to hide it.

“So, you like knitting?”

“Not that I was spying on your or anything. I just noticed the stuff in the back seat when I was hooking the truck up to that pretty ass of yours.”

Did he really just say that? Yes he did.

“I mean, your car. Hooking the truck up to your car. Your Mercedes I mean, I like your car. It's really cool. I mean I like old Mercedes, and it's a cool color and--” And I'm laughing my ass off.

“It's okay. I'll take that as a compliment. Yours is pretty nice too, you know.”

And of course we're there before we know it. I guess I didn't realize how close I was to home when I broke down. I almost could have walked here.

* * *

“Um, is this the address?”

“Yeah, that's my house. I didn't realize we were so close though. And conversation was just getting interesting too.”

Interesting? Yeah, embarrassing too. This girl is getting me all mixed up, but I kind of like it.

“Yeah, yeah it was.” I smile at her but that's about all I can do. This is the part where I usually fail miserably anyway. “Let me just go unload the car.”

And there went my chance. And now I have to go back out into the freezing ass cold and undo her car so she can go do whatever it is she does and I can go home alone. Good one, Ian. Good one.

“All done. I managed to get the car in the driveway pretty well for you, hope it's alright.”

“Yeah, it looks good.” I guess she took off another layer while I was getting the car undone. I swear I couldn't see cleavage before. “Ian, I know this must be a long terrible night for you. Would you like to come up and I'll make you some hot tea? We can talk about pineapples some more. . .”

Wait, what? Is this really happening . . . Maybe being a tow truck driver isn't so bad after all.

“That would be amazing! God knows I love Chinese teas too. I mean, I'm just coming off shift too.”

Woah, curb your enthusiasm there boy. And of course I'm scheduled another four hours but damn, I'll make something up tomorrow. Fuck Bubba anyway, I swear she just winked when she got down out of the truck.

* * *

I promise I don't do this all the time. Inviting tow truck drivers up to my apartment, I mean, but really he seems like such a nice guy. And that thing they say about big hands . . . Well, let's just say that in Ian Boyd's case, they're right.